


build her wings

by howlingheartdemigod (helpmeimstuckon)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beau/Jester if you squint, F/F, Fluff, I just want people to TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS GDI, Jester has the best advice, Jester is a really good liar, Jester pining if you know where to look for it, Like. OT3 if you squint, Pining, Unresolved Feelings, kinda Pre OT3 tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 07:32:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17700233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helpmeimstuckon/pseuds/howlingheartdemigod
Summary: As she watched Yasha walk into the storm, she couldn’t decide it it was worse or better to see her go, instead of just waking to find her gone. They both suck ass, she decided, before volunteering to take first watch.-Yasha leaves again. Beau talks to Jester about her feelings. Beau really is clueless.





	build her wings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SayNevermore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SayNevermore/gifts).



> title from an untitled poem in love her wild, by atticus  
> "Don't ask her to be a rock  
> for you to lean upon  
> instead, build her wings  
> and point her to the sky  
> and she will teach you both to fly."
> 
> originally posted as a prompt fill for riotbrrrd on tumblr. find me there, and send me prompts at howlingheartdemigod

It was always hard when Yasha had to leave again. She’d been with them for so long, since Nicodranas, it was almost possible to forget she’d have to go. Almost.

But when thunder rolled overhead and they looked up to see dark clouds on the horizon, blotting the sunset that had signaled to them to set up camp, it hit Beau like a ton of bricks. She looked from the sky to Yasha, and felt her breath catch, because Yasha was already looking at her.

Beau wanted to ask her to stay. Wanted to call from across the fire that she should, just this once, ignore the call and stay with them. She wanted to plead for more time, she needed more time. They needed to talk about where they stood, where to go from there, and what that kiss had meant the other night. What Beau felt was nearly overpowering, did Yasha feel that way too?

Beau wanted to say all of that, but instead, she forced herself to smile. “Just, uh, come back safe, yeah?” she asked, softly. Yasha nodded, and Beau dropped her eyes as it hit the rest of their friends what the storm meant, that Yasha would be leaving them, again. She, out of her peripheral vision, watched as Jester pulled Yasha into a hug, and Caduses put a hand on her shoulder. Beau pushed to her feet, letting out a little breath. She walked the Perimeter that Caleb had laid out with his thread, and tried to ignore the ache in her chest.

As she watched Yasha walk into the storm, she couldn’t decide it it was worse or better to see her go, instead of just waking to find her gone. _They both suck ass_ , she decided, before volunteering to take first watch.

 

* * *

 

Minutes without Yasha, turned to hours, turned to days. Time stretched on . The remains of the party traveled on to Zadash. Beau didn’t spend all her time dwelling, honest. She went book shopping with Caleb, learned how to cook some of Caduceus’ simpler recipes, she sparred with Fjord. She kept busy, just barely keeping Nott and her sticky fingers out of jail, and talking with Jester, often, always.

Gods Bless, Jester. She could always bring a smile to Beau’s lips. Jester was sunshine in the middle of a storm. She was a blessing. Beau wasn’t sure where they’d be if it wasn’t for Jester.

She was thinking that as Jester chattered away, talking about how excited she was to bring the trinkets they’d bought out in the Pentamarket back to their friends.

“… and Nott’s eyes will get all big how they do, and Yasha will love the little flowers.” Jester held up the ribbon in question, the beaded flowers, blue and sparking a the end. “She can braid it into her hair, and it will look _so_ pretty.” Jester smiled over at Beau. “I can’t wait till she gets back.”

Beau let out a little sigh, eyes dropping to her feet as they walked. “Yeah, when ever she gets back.” Beau scanned the sky, oddly disappointed to see clear blue all the way to the horizon.

Jester bumped her shoulder into Beau’s. “She’ll come back, Beau. Yasha always comes back to us.”

Beau smiled a little for Jester's sake, nodding. “Yeah, I know. Things are just…” Beau bit her lip, eyes drifting around the crowd, feeling effortlessly anonymous. “You can keep a secret, right Jes?”

“We all know you think Yasha’s hot, Beau.” Jester replied, something a little sour in her tone. Beau looked over, unable to keep from smiling at Jester’s scrunched features.

“Nah, Jes, not that.” Beau sighed. “It's... When we were on our way back from Xhorhas, in the tunnels, you remember those goat-men things we fought, and when I got hurt?”

Jester nodded, reaching into her habersack, pulling a pastry free. “Yeah, you got slashed across the stomach real bad and went down, but Caleb got bashed on the head because he’s so squishy so I had to help him, but it was okay because Yasha helped you.”

“Right, exactly that.” Beau let out a breath, looking around. “Gods, uh, so… When Yasha came over and healed me, she kinda… kissed me.”

“What!?” She said, wheeling towards her, the pastry falling to the ground. Jester grabbed her arm, a strength that still surprised Beau after all this time. “How did I miss that?!”

“Gods,” Beau put a hand over Jesters, prying her fingers loose. “We were around the bend in there, and I mean, it was so quick I’m still not totally convinced it happened.”

Jester stared at her, smile loose, eyes wide. “Was it good?” She asked, lips twisting mischievously.

Beau bit her lip, a blush coming to her cheeks. “Yeah. It was, but Jes…”

Jester laughed, and pulled away, half skipping on. “Nott owes me five gold.” She called back.

“Jester, you can’t tell Nott.” Beau pleaded, jogging to catch up. “Seriously, it was probably nothing. Emotions were high, she’d just found where Zuala was buried, and we were smuggling Yeza out, it was probably nothing.” Beau reasoned, grabbing Jester’s wrist, dragging the excitable Tiefling to the edge of the crowd, at the mouth of an alleyway.

“Beau,” Jester replied, dragging her name out. “Yasha doesn’t go anything she doesn’t mean.” Jester’s head tilted, eyes drifting across Beau’s face. Her voice went serious and quiet, in that way that made Jester seems so much more mature than she normally acted. “You need to stop thinking people caring about you isn’t possible.”

Beau let out a little huff, eyed dropping, putting her hands on her hips. “I don’t think like that.”

Jester fixed her with a look Beau could feel without having to look at her, but she didn't push it. “Did you ask Yasha what it meant?” she asked twirling her skirts a little, the edge brushing against Beau’s legs.

Beau shook her head. “We didn’t have time to talk privately. We had to get Yeza out, then to Alfield, and then deal with the problems there for Bryce, and then… then the storm came. And she left.” Beau dropped her eyes and shrugged. “I dunno Jes, She probably thinks it was a big mistake.”

Jester’s eyes bore into her, then Jester reached out and grabbed her hands. “No one with a brain in their head thinks you’re a mistake, Beau. I promise.”

Beau lifted her eyes to Jester, struck by how amazing it was to have someone like her in her life. “Well, keep telling me that, and I’ll try and believe it, alright Jes?”

Jester smiled, and nodded. Then, toe Beau's surprise, pressed up on her toes and kissed Beau on the nose. “I’ll make sure you have private time with Yasha as soon as she gets back, okay?”

Beau nodded, and squeezed her hand, then they headed off, fingers linked together.

 

* * *

 

The storm rolled overhead a few days later, when they were sitting having drinks in a tavern. Beau looked up a wide smile appearing on her face. She looked back to her Jester, and felt her breath catch, because Jester was already looking at her. Jester gave her a nod, and Beau pushed up from the table to go walk and meet the heart of the storm.

 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought


End file.
